Remember when Shahrukh Khan said, "Love me or hate me, but you can't ignore me"? That pretty much sums up how the world feels about online dating apps!
The impact of apps like Tinder and Bumble on the dating landscape has been felt by everybody looking for love in the 21st century. The truth is if technology is offering you the luxury of convenience and ease in the complex process of finding your ideal partner, it is very tempting to give up on the alternative. I mean, who has the time to go to libraries and coffee shops, and spark conversations with interesting strangers anymore?
However, for anybody who has been using these apps for a while, the reality becomes crystal clear eventually. Which is, as seemingly simple it might be to filter people on the basis of physical appearance and a one-line bio, match with them and take them out, the entire process gets convoluted and quite frankly, boring after a while. The ease that tricked you into using these apps, is what ultimately makes you get over them. Also, whenever you go out on a Tinder date, there is always an underlying assumption that both of you are attracted to each other and you don't get the opportunity to really understand their vibe, thus paving the way for dates that seem forced, and flings that are meaningless, and lack genuine chemistry.
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Which is why, even in the age of dating apps, there are plenty of people who prefer to find love the old-school, organic way! And if that sounds like you, congrats on landing on the right page on the world wide web! If you've been looking for some guidance on how to find love without installing dating apps on your phone, here's your manual on offline dating!
Why Would I Choose Offline Dating When Tinder, Bumble & Hinge Exist?
While dating apps can be immensely convenient and comfortable, especially for working professionals with little time to spare, old-school offline dating has some inherent perks that cannot be ignored:
- It's easy to determine whether you have genuine chemistry with the person, and easier to walk away in case you don't
- No implicit obligations when you meet people organically
- Greater chances of a foundation of healthy friendship, and consequently, deeper emotions and longer relationship
- You and your personality are looked at holistically, instead of a sum total of 6 pictures and two lines of bio
- Easier to assess body language and non-verbal cues with physical presence
- Greater chances of having things in common, and mutual friends and acquaintances
- Safer, and you are less likely to be conned or catfished by a balding 50-year-old man posing as a 21-year-old girl
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But Where Can I Find People To Date Offline?
While the emergence of dating apps might have caused a large proportion of the population to swipe for love from the comfort of their bedroom, there are still several places that offer you the chance to date people offline and form connections that are organic, natural and arguably, more meaningful:
As far as coming across interesting strangers with the potential to be a good friend, or better yet, your significant other is concerned, nothing beats the classic house party. The awkwardness you encounter at a house party replete with people you barely know can be an excellent point to bond over with an individual feeling equally uncomfortable or bored. And in case you're more the kind to be the life of a party, a simple proposition for a dance together will suffice!
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Music Gigs And Events
Bonding with someone over common favourites in music is perhaps, one of the best ways to establish a meaningful connection. If you're headed to a musical gig, concert or event, and end up bumping into someone super attractive who happens to have the same favourite band as you, it feels like a holy sign sent especially from above! Cue violins in the background, and starry eyes!
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Dog Parks And Pet Shows
You're both dog parents obsessed with your child(ren) to an extent that might be considered psychologically unhealthy. Are those wedding bells we hear? Let's get real. Dogs represent all the good things in the world, and if a shared love for dogs is what brings you close together, rest assured, you're off to an excellent start!
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Gyms And Fitness Clubs
This one has the potential to work out favourably for both the types of people that frequent a gym. If you're heavily into working out, meeting an interesting and cute fellow fitness freak is probably the stuff that some of your romantic dreams are made of! And in case, exercise is really not your thing, and you regret making that ambitious 2020 fitness resolution, we are sure you'll end up meeting someone that shares those emotions!
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Bookstores And Libraries
Just like music, shared favourites in books and reading content often make for an inseparable bond between two people who are otherwise strangers. I mean, in a world of tablets and kindles, if you manage to run into someone with an equally intense love for paperbacks, you gotta keep 'em! So while a good ol' bookstore or library might offer you limited chances to meet someone, when or if it does happen, you know it will be as real as it gets!
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Let's just say there's a reason office romances occupy the central position in so many rom-coms! In fact, if you think about it, it's the ideal way of meeting your significant other, considering factors like an inherent understanding of each others work schedules, common topics of conversations and an abundance of time together. That being said, make sure to check your company's policy on dating within the workplace, so your newfound romance doesn't lead you to unemployment.
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Big Fat Weddings
Weddings have always been the unofficial playground for singles in India, and this age-old marketplace continues to be immensely lucrative to this day. It makes perfect sense, considering very few things in the world have the ability to trigger single people more than couples who found the one and want you to know as much. As you watch the bride barely contain her excitement, the impending fear of dying alone will work like a magnet to bring other equally single people to you!
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Cafes, Bars And Pubs
This one is perhaps the most obvious choice when it comes to looking for places to meet people organically! And one fundamental reason for that is that all the other places for offline dating mentioned in this list, are also places that people visit usually with an objective in mind. Cafes, bars, and puns, on the other hand, are all places meant for recreation and leisure, making it more likely for people to check you out, and initiate a conversation there.
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Your Social Circle
Last, but not least, an offline dating source that has worked for innumerable people for several centuries of human existence, is the noble heart of a sympathetic friend dying to set you up. So if nothing else works, you always have the option of requesting your friends to introduce you to their attractive friends of the opposite sex. Best part? Very low chances of being murdered on the first date!
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What Should I Keep In Mind While Looking For Love Organically?
- Every person you meet organically is NOT a potential life partner, so be cautious of strangers and let them win your trust before you divulge too much about yourself
- If you bump into an attractive stranger who seems like someone you'd like to date, keep a check on the enthusiasm (read: don't google cute baby names just yet)
- Invest in new people as potential good friends, as opposed to potential boyfriends or girlfriends. The rest will follow through.
- Try to let go of your apprehensions while approaching strangers in public places. That being said, don't launch into a lengthy conversation right off the bat, start with something simple and innocent like asking what drink they're sipping on! You can start working on talking to strangers by practising saying hi to at least 5 people in a day!
- Offline dating doesn't come with guarantees of no rejection, and when it so happens, try not to take it personally.
- Don't always wait for the other person to make a move. It's way easier to initiate a conversation, and walk off if it doesn't work, than wonder what would've happened if you'd just said hi to that cute stranger, for the rest of your life!
- It's okay to have days when you don't feel like dressing up but try to be presentable and well-groomed whenever you're heading out from home. You might just run into the girl of your dreams in the milk aisle at the supermarket!
- Honestly? Just take it easy. There's plenty of time, and you don't need to get hitched right this minute.
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Regardless of whether it's offline or online, coming across real, genuine love takes time, effort, vulnerability and truckloads of patience. So keep holding on, and try not to get fazed by the uncertainty of it all. At the end of the day, you have to kiss some frogs to get to your prince/princess charming! Happy (offline) dating!